Lupus hurts me too!

Lupus hurts me too! For any like myself who are or have ever been caregivers or even partners of someone with lupus you know what I mean. These two things are not so very different in fact, for as husband to someone with lupus I on many occasions found myself being my wife's caregiver.

So why this blog? Because I thought that maybe others who were like myself could use an outlet for the most often unseen hurt they experience as mates or caregivers to people with lupus. Not so much to complain as to tell their story, read of others and know we are not alone. This being an issue mostly because our loved one with the disease can only see their hurt or pain not ours, not to blame them it's just a fact.

So I guess me first. My first exposure to lupus my wife's as well I guess came long before she was ever diagnosed with the disease in the form of her best friend, a strong woman whom we both loved. Looking back now I can see how even then lupus had a dramatic effect on me for because of the pains my wife's friend experienced she pulled my wife away what seems like all the time. And i somewhat resented this Silly, selfish me.

My wife who already had been diagnosed with fibromyalgia I thought needed to be more concerned with her own health. Sadly my wife's best friend lost the battle to lupus or should I say more so to the ravages caused by lupus it being for those not aware an auto immune disease causing the body to attack itself. Her death had a devastating effect on my wife though not one I immediately recognized. My wife would start getting home late increasingly more often. It was sometime later after we began to bump heads with some regularity that I forced a discussion that revealed she had been having brief moments of uncontrollable crying and blackouts with disorientation to the point she didn't no where she was or where she was going. How frightening this was for me. What scared me most was when I would wake beside her only to see her cringing in fear because she didn't recognize who I was.

I'll stop here for now though I have more to tell. Meanwhile I invite any who visit of similar circumstance to relate your experience with this dreadful disease.
I'll continue to update my story as I am able.