Things are looking up!

Yes things are looking up! I just got back a few hours ago from a trip to New Jersey! And no offense to any one reading this who may live there. But the fact that I was there was not at all what makes me feel that things are looking up. Neither is it the fact that I was able to see two of my very dear friends who were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary , the wedding of which I was gratefully a part of. No don't get me wrong I had a ball there with them and other special friends. However what made me near jump for joy is the fact that my wife was there with me dancing up a storm and at that pain free.

How is this possible for a woman with lupus? Well about a month ago she spoke to a doctor patient of her's ( she's a Hygienist) who introduced her to a detox diet that two days after starting it she told me she could feel the difference. Almost pain free she's been for the most part since then. We used to go out and dance a lot prior to her getting lupus and even in the beginning stages. But soon the pain became so frequent and intense she couldn't even stand being on her feet sometimes much less dance. Another benefit of this diet to her specifically was a slight weight loss. Many women with lupus too would appreciate this as a great thing. But my top pick for benefits from this diet was and is the dramatic change in her demeanor . Her attitude about me and even more so her feelings about herself. Yes Lupus hurts me too! But for now at least, not so much.

Lupus hurts me too!

Lupus hurts me too! For any like myself who are or have ever been caregivers or even partners of someone with lupus you know what I mean. These two things are not so very different in fact, for as husband to someone with lupus I on many occasions found myself being my wife's caregiver.

So why this blog? Because I thought that maybe others who were like myself could use an outlet for the most often unseen hurt they experience as mates or caregivers to people with lupus. Not so much to complain as to tell their story, read of others and know we are not alone. This being an issue mostly because our loved one with the disease can only see their hurt or pain not ours, not to blame them it's just a fact.

So I guess me first. My first exposure to lupus my wife's as well I guess came long before she was ever diagnosed with the disease in the form of her best friend, a strong woman whom we both loved. Looking back now I can see how even then lupus had a dramatic effect on me for because of the pains my wife's friend experienced she pulled my wife away what seems like all the time. And i somewhat resented this Silly, selfish me.

My wife who already had been diagnosed with fibromyalgia I thought needed to be more concerned with her own health. Sadly my wife's best friend lost the battle to lupus or should I say more so to the ravages caused by lupus it being for those not aware an auto immune disease causing the body to attack itself. Her death had a devastating effect on my wife though not one I immediately recognized. My wife would start getting home late increasingly more often. It was sometime later after we began to bump heads with some regularity that I forced a discussion that revealed she had been having brief moments of uncontrollable crying and blackouts with disorientation to the point she didn't no where she was or where she was going. How frightening this was for me. What scared me most was when I would wake beside her only to see her cringing in fear because she didn't recognize who I was.

I'll stop here for now though I have more to tell. Meanwhile I invite any who visit of similar circumstance to relate your experience with this dreadful disease.
I'll continue to update my story as I am able.

This look familiar?

Some time ago after feeling the heat emanating from wife like an over heated car radiator I remember asking her to describe lupus for me. I don't quite remember her wording of that day, though I do know that I got a distinct image at the time and decided to draw my impression of what Lupus looked like. I here present it to you. By the way my wife thought I was on the mark.